Charm City Barfly

It's not truly Thanksgiving until you get vag-flashed.

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 07:05:00 +0000

Yeah, you read that right. I got vag-flashed while trying to scarf down my Thanksgiving dinner. Somebody ** had decided to go commando while wearing a skirt and I kept seeing vag every time she got up from the couch. And I tried my best to look away but there was never a warning to when she was getting up from the couch. She would just suddenly get up while talking mid-sentence to me and BOOM! there it was. Vag.

Ladies- When wearing a skirt, please please please PLEASE wear panties. Please.

I can't wait to see what happens on Christmas.

**P.S- It wasn't a family member. I was having Thanksgiving with non-relations.

Places I've Been: Chicago, June 2008

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 20:26:00 +0000

I love to travel and yet I've never really blogged about the places I've gone to. I love reading travel blogs when I'm researching countries/states/cities I'm planning on visiting and, while I have no plans of turning this into a travel blog, I would like to share some of my experiences with the interwebs.

Last year I went to Chicago for a three day trip in June to catch the Orioles play at Wrigley Field for the first time in their history. Me and two girlfriends flew in early Thursday morning from BWI to Midway. The flight was short and sweet and we arrive during the morning commute. I don't know if we were fully prepared at the sheer size of the Second City! It was enormous and just beautiful! I had the best time and the whole trip was way too short in my opinion. Here is just a quick rundown on the places and things we did while we were there:

The El Train- The transportation in Chicago is amazing and UBER cheap if you are staying there for a short time period. Since we were staying for two full days we got the 2 day pass for $9. The pass granted us unlimited travel for 48 hours. As much as we kept hopping on and off the El, this was a really good deal. They have stops at both airports and you can buy your 2 day pass when you leave the airport. It only took us about 20 minutes to get from the airport to our hotel downtown with only one transfer stop.

The Holiday Inn: Mart Plaza location- I love the Holiday Inn and I usually always stay at one wherever I go. This particular Holiday Inn was amazing and the service was impecible. It was located in the same building as the Chicago Times, which was cool, and the building is located by the river and this meant amazing views from our window.

The hotel was located right next to an El stop and we never had to step outside to get to it. The building connects to the el stop building through a bridge.

The Concierge Office at the hotel was fantastic and extremely helpful. One person gave us great tips for our sightseeing through the city and easy directions on how to get there. Another gentlemen gave us great advice on Boystown (which I'll talk about later). They also held our bag for us since we flew into Chicago very early in the morning and check in isn't until 3pm. We were able to drop off our bags and then go explore Chicago, go to the game, and then come back to check in and get changed before going back out again.

A double room was around $200, which was not bad since we were splitting the cost between three of us.

Michigan Avenue: Walking down Michigan Avenue is fun and there are plenty of great stores and shopping complexes to go to. We did some damage at Nordstrom and Sephora!

Grand Lux Cafe: We had dinner here one night and I had THE BEST BURGER EVER! I literally still dream about this burger. The food was great, moderately priced, and the atmosphere was great. We sat at the bar and ate and met some great people. Warning: the drinks are pricey. My friend ordered about 4 martinis and was very upset when the bill came and saw that she was charged $13 per martini! Ask what the prices are before ordering.

Wrigley Field: I highly recommend catching a game at Wrigley. Even if you are not a baseball fan there is plenty of fun to go around! With all the bars around the stadium and the Cubs fans that fill that place up game after game, you will not have a bad time. The stadium is small and the fans are loyal, so be sure to buy tickets to a game the moment they go on sale. Just be warned that Wrigley has a very lax policy on clothing for the men, and you will see gaggles of fat men without their shirts.

By the way, the Orioles won.

We went to The Cubby Bear before the game and had some cheap beer, cheap shots, and greasy food. Our server was extremely busy but nice. She even chased us down when she saw I left my Sephora bag behind by accident.

Chicago People: Are awesome. We did not encounter one rude person. Everyone was nice to talk to. We even stopped strangers in the street to ask them their recommendations on what to do/where to go/what to eat. We had conversations with random people in restaurants, at bars, on the street, in the museums, and at the baseball stadium. I cannot say one bad thing about the Chicagoans we encountered on our trip.

Art Institute of Chicago: So worth the trip and the price. I believe an adult ticket is $12 and it will be the best $12 you spend for the day. We spent about three hours here and I easily could have stayed longer! Do not pass up this place if you are in Chicago!

Boystown!!!!: Just about my favorite neighborhood in Chicago. It's the gay area of town and it has so much to offer. It doesn't matter if you are a guy or girl, gay or straight, it has something to offer anyone who is down for a good time. We spent our Friday night there and followed the concierge's advice from our hotel on where to go. He recommended that we have dinner at Firefly and I am so glad he did! What a great bistro! They are located on Halsted Avenue, the main strip of the neighborhood, by most of the great bars and clubs. They have absolutely delicious drinks and the menu prices will range from moderate to pricey, but all the food was worth it! Make sure you get the bake brie. It was. too. die. for.

After dinner we hit up Sidetrack, a great club where we met a whole bunch of nice gentlemen. It's so nice to have conversations with men when you know they have agenda to sleep with you! The bartenders were even giving me free shots and alcohol! After that we closed out the night at Cocktail, where they have really hot male go-go dancers (and one of them shoved my face in their crotch, a la Lambert style). Again, met a bunch of great people and had a bunch of delicious drinks!

Chicago is now one of my favorite cities on the planet. I don't think it is possible to go there and NOT have a good time. Great city, great people, good times. I highly recommend taking a weekend trip there during the warmer months!

Liz Hurley is my new hero...

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:56:00 +0000

Liz Hurley has given me a way to both medically justify my alcoholism and help me lose weight! A vodka diet! She has given me a vodka diet! There is one caveat... I would have to give up coffee. I'm not quite sure that is a good idea for either me nor the rest of society since I am a huge bitch until I get my coffee. Maybe I couldcheat and have some espresso vodka.

The other dilemma is my obvious vodka-induced slut/rage behavior.

Blast from the past...

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 04:42:00 +0000

I love when I get to hang out with OLD SCHOOL Canton. Not the new pussies who have bought $30K homes for $300K. Not the jackasses who drive Porches here. But OLD SCHOOL Canton guys. I just had beer with guys I used to see in the neighborhood when I was a young child. And it was awesome. We caught up on old times, old characters of the 'hood, and old memories.

It's nights like this that make my soul smile.

I heart Baltimore.

This weekend is going to LEGEN-wait for it-DARY!

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:53:00 +0000

I'm very excited about the shenanigans that will most likely take place this weekend.

Tonight I'm hanging out a person who I can only describe as a modern day Easy Rider. He is a friend of a friend, so to speak, and he seems like a cool guy. I'm sure we will be getting into some sort of trouble after many, many, many Jager shots.

Halloween this year is going to be MADNESS! Not only is it on a Saturday night but it's also Daylight Savings Time, meaning the bars will be open an extra hour. I already have two parties to stop in on, a friend's band who is playing at some bar I've never been to, and other bars/friends to see. I'm not dressing up this year but I do plan on getting as drunk as possible and watching the idiots down in Fells Point make fools of themselves. Not that I plan on staying in Fells very long, mind you. It's pretty much going to be Saddam and Gomorrah by 10pm and I don't want to stay too long lest I turn into a salt statue.

The best costume I have ever seen in Baltimore was about 4 years ago when I was walking home from one of my usual haunts. I saw a guy dressed up as a milk carton with an oversized handlebar mustache running down the street and screaming "Free milk mustache rides!". I can only hope this Saturday could compare. I've said this before and I'll say it again: If I don't end the night singing Elvis songs at karaoke and making out with a guy dressed as Papa Smurf then I have failed as a human being.

Sunday Funday will be happening again with my usual crew. Football, beer, shots, and the usual debauchery. You can't ask for a better time to end the weekend.

Happy Halloween!

It takes very little to entertain me...

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 05:19:00 +0000

I recently saw this being posted (and reposted) on Twitter and on Facebook. It is the funniest thing I've seen in a long, long while.

The best part? This is a MICA student here in Baltimore. I'm very intrigued by him.

I know what I'm drinking this weekend! Thanks, Pat!

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 20:39:00 +0000

I am so making these drinks this weekend.

From City That Breeds website:

A perfect fall drink – Spiced Bourbon

With the onset of cooler weather, I thought that a spiced bourbon would make for some pretty tasty cocktails, and I was right. Try out this recipe for spiced bourbon and you’ll agree.

To begin with, use a decent bourbon (Maker’s, Evan Williams Single Barrel will do). To make the spiced bourbon, you can use whatever spices you want-it’s all about personal taste. But since my personal taste is better than yours, you should follow these guidelines. For the infusion I chose cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, and clove. Whatever spices you choose, use the whole (not ground) versions. If you do use nutmeg, crack the nut – don’t leave it whole. I wrapped mine in cheesecloth and let them steep in the bourbon.

The key to this project is daily tasting. Each spice will infuse its flavor at a different rate of speed, so you may have to add or remove them during the process. When it tastes right, remove the spices. If you wrap each spice separately in cheesecloth, it will be much easier to add or remove them.

Here’s the breakdown of ingredients in this case:

2 cinnamon sticks
2 nuts of nutmeg (cracked)
1 tsp. allspice
1 tsp. clove – clove comes on strong. I had to pull mine out after 3 days to keep everything balanced. The cinnamon and nutmeg took longer to impart their flavors.

I let my spices steep in the bourbon for seven days, but you could go longer or shorter depending on how intense you want the final product; I came up with two drinks for this, both served hot.

Spiced Bourbon Cider

Use 1 part spiced bourbon and 2 parts apple cider, then heat in a microwave.

Wipe a lemon wedge around the rim of the glass and put a spoonful or so of Sugar in the Raw on a plate and rub the rim of the glass over it. This step is key-you need the sweetness of the sugar to balance out the spice of the bourbon.

Once the cider/bourbon mixture is finished in the microwave, squeeze a lemon wedge over it and add a teaspoon of honey. If you want to go balls deep, you can top it off with whipped cream, nutmeg and cinnamon.

Spiced Bourbon and Cider

Spiced Bourbon Old Fashioned

Spiced Bourbon Old Fashioned with Blood Orange

You can make this with regular oranges, but it won’t be nearly as good. To start, wipe the rim of the glass with a slice of Blood Orange. Then, coat the rim with Sugar in the Raw – I added a bit of cinnamon as well to liven things up. If you want to avoid the mess of coating the rim with sugar, muddle it in with the orange and cherries.

Heat about 2.5 ounces of your bourbon.

Next, muddle a couple maraschino cherries and a decent slice of Blood Orange, along with a teaspoon of Maraschino Cherry juice if you have a sweet tooth. I also tossed in a quarter ounce of Blood Orange juice to make it more user-friendly.

Pour in the hot spiced bourbon.

Add a splash of club soda; it really cleans up the taste of the drink and prevents it from being too sticky-tasting.

On a final note; go easy on the Blood Orange! It has an intense flavor, so if you add too much, you’ll wind up with a hot spicy orange juice.

Beware if you are in Charm City tonight...

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 20:02:00 +0000

I'm going out and I'm going to be drinking vodka.

And you know how I get when I drink vodka...

Just a heads up.

My original title for this post was "Just a random rant" but I have nothing to rant about! It's more like a "Random Love Quip"

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 18:08:00 +0000

I heart October. The Oktoberfest and pumpkin beers come out, the weather is beautiful, and then there are all the festivals in Baltimore. This weekend is the Fells Point Fun Festival (which I will be partaking in tomorrow), Baltimore Beer Week (starting on the 8th), the Baltimore Comic-Con (great people watching- I mean, nerd watching), and Halloween- which is my favorite holiday of all.

I love living in Baltimore this time of year and I encourage everyone to go out and do something. The Baltimore Beer Week will be exciting. I can't wait to go to the rare beer tastings at Max's as well and participate in the scavenger hunt in Canton.

And Halloween. God, I love Halloween. If I don't end the night making out with Papa Smurf then I have failed as a human being.

Get off your friggin' computer and go outside! Enjoy Charm City.

There is a reason I don't drink vodka...

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 16:35:00 +0000

Gin makes me an angry drunk.
Scotch makes me a philosophic drunk.
Bourbon/Whiskey makes me a feisty drunk.
Vodka makes me a big ol’ slutty drunk. Which is why I rarely drink it if I can help it. I’d rather be a hateful drunk than a slutty drunk. Being a slutty drunk makes the chances of waking up the next morning in your own coyote ugly moment just a little bit greater. And vodka is dangerous. If made right, a vodka drink can taste very non-alcoholic and that makes me drink even more.

Last night I had a hankering to hang out at a local bar and drink some nice cocktails. The reason I chose vodka drinks is because vodka has little to no calories and I am on this diet/exercise program for the next two months. Plus, the bar that I chose never usually has many patrons- more importantly, it usually doesn’t have many single patrons or cute patrons- and thus decreasing my chances of going home with someone on my drunken/slutty/vodka rage. Boy, was I wrong. After a few vodka cocktails (and three or four shots), in walks a kind of cute guy who started to talk to me immediately. And then I changed my mind about having a low-key night. Plus, the last time I had any play was during my trip to the U.K back in May. You know the rule- if you don’t use it in six months then it falls off.

Anyway, no more vodka for me. I’ll have to come up with something else I can drink that is low on calories and won’t induce slutty behavior.

Tech help

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 17:42:00 +0000

I need to do a huge overhaul on this blog. Who can help me out with design?

*I'm looking at you, Grumpy Schoolboy!

Pants so tight they'll give you sideways camel-toe.

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 17:22:00 +0000

I am so bored of being unemployed now. All I do is sleep until noon, go to the coffee shop and spend a few hours there, go home and watch some tv, and then drink until I find a Marine to make out with.

This is my existence now and I am growing bored with it.

I'm not worried about whether or not I find another job. As long as I can pay for my rent and my alcohol then I don't care. Everything else just isn't that important.

The one thing I am focusing on, and I have more time now to do it, is losing some blubber. I have all the time in the world now and I've been making great strides in doing daily exercising. I can't wait to get back into some smaller jeans and I'm making it my goal for the rest of this year.

More importantly, I need to find something to do with my time. My boredom lately has caused me to track down ex-boyfriends on the internet and cyber stalk them with them knowing it. I have found MySpace pages, Facebook pages, and even blogs. I even started commenting on one ex-flame's blog (under an assumed name, of course) and we've been having a great dialogue. I'm not 100% sure he'll be happy to find out that it's me, since I did technically- and more importantly, ALLEGEDLY- set some of his property on fire in front of his house. He may still be a little pissed off about it even though it (ALLEGEDLY) did happen all the way back in college.

The one good thing about the unemployment that will make a lot of my friends happy is that I have been spending 100% of my time with school. Yes, my little internet monkeys, I've started back up with school. I actually started doing a class a semester at the beginning of this year, but now with all my free time I can do at least 2 or 3 classes. I'm finishing what I started!

And for now that is all that is new with me. And this blog is going coming back with a brand new edition. Boh'lieve it. Ha! Get it? Boh'lieve? Because I'm in Baltimore and Natty Boh is...oh, forget it. It was funny. Shut up.

I'm still here.

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 17:00:00 +0000

Really, I am.

I just don't have interwebs at the new house.

But I am going to do finish up some posts I was working on and get them posted tomorrow.

Don't you forget about me.

And RIP Patrick Swayze.

Four years of misery over...

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 11:26:00 +0000

Thursday I became the victim of the economy and I was laid off.

And I couldn't be fucking happier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I fucking hated that place. I hated it so much. I just about giggled on the way out the door. Now I get a severance package and unemployment benefits! I basically have a very long paid vacation. Suck it, bitches!

I celebrated that night by..well, working. I went to one of my favorite bars and the owner made me get behind the bar and start making drinks. Then the night started to get blurry after that.

It felt so damn wonderful to wake up Friday morning and not have to go to work. I loved it! I'm going to enjoy the hell out of this unemployment.

And now there is no excuse not to get my post on England done. None. That will be my project for Monday.

Viva las Unemployment!

Random Thoughts Of The Day...

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:07:00 +0000

Ok, Michael Jackson is dead. Get over it.

I ate way too much food today and it isn't even the 4th of July yet.

I stayed in last night to read The Time Traveler's Wife in one sitting. It took me five hours, I didn't like the end of the book, and I'm curious to find out how the movie will turn out. And even if the movie sucks at least Eric Bana is in it. I would watch him read from a phone book for two hours. Preferably naked. Him, that is. Not me. Or me if I'm in it with him. And if I'm in it with him then you can substitute the phone book for some handcuffs.

I've already started planning my trip to Portugal and Spain next year. Spanish men are absolutely amazing and I'm hoping to have some fun in Portugal as well. Why do vacations turn me into such a slut?

My July weekend trip to Asheville, NC, has been postponed. I have to come up with an extra $650 next month because...

...I am moving to a new house! I been living in the same house with the same two girls for the past two years and I think I'm just done with it. It's not that they are bad people. Well, one of them is just a fucking retard. And she's two faced. And annoying.

My future roommates are two very laid-back guys and I've known one of them for the past four years. I'm very excited about moving in.

If you ever needed proof that money doesn't buy you class then please watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey

I cannot wait for my three day Fourth of July weekend. I'm house-sitting and dog-sitting over the weekend and I'm going to RELAX, read, drink beer, grill and did I mention the relaxing part? It's going to be awesome.

I've already started packing. I'm not moving for over a month and I've already started getting my stuff packed up to get the hell out.

Do you ever get it into your head that you want to fuck a certain person and then you decide that, yes, you ARE going to fuck that person and you make it a mission of yours? I have the person in my sights and, YES, I think I can make this happen! It's my Thursday goal (so to speak).

I still have yet to write a post about my UK trip. I will eventually get to it. For now, here's a picture.

I am very much jonesing for a piece of pizza and I'm going to get one now. I'm out, bitches!

What are you gonna do, hit him? No that's a terrible idea, I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your mom.

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:16:00 +0000

I went to Philly a couple of weekends ago just because I've never been. I was invited to a bar crawl on South Street. I would love to write a post to give you all the details of that extremely fun night, but I just can't. I drank quite a bit. I drank so much that night I'm pretty sure I put the ex-marine that was tagging along with us to shame. I drank so much that Steven Adler would had said "Oh, that's a bit too much". I drank, I danced, I laughed, I got molested by way too many straight girls (and some gay boys). I had the best time.

So here are some fragments of the evening- some of which you will not understand:

If you are ever in Philly then you MUST go to Bob & Barbara's. They have an all day special where you get a can of PBR and a shot of Jim Beam for $3. I knew I was in trouble the moment I walked in there.
There is always someone in Philly who will be willing to buy you a few shots of Jager. And that person's name is The Most Awesome Guy Ever.
Gay men love my tits. Of course, I didn't need to go to Philly to find this out. It just never gets old.
Straight girls love my tits. And Philly girls have no problem coming up to me and asking me if they can feel them. And I have no problem saying HELL YES.
I would make an awesome bouncer.
I am the master of the name tags.
Don't let them fool you: Men like to pole dance far more than women and, if given the chance, they will throw down.
A Philly cheesesteak from Philly actually is 10 times better than anywhere else in the country.
Guys in Philly love to buy me beers; therefore, guys in Philly are THE BEST IN THE WORLD.
No, I didn't kill that shark.
Duck lips?
Am I seriously sleeping next to the cute guy from NYC? Why am I not trying to mack with the cute guy from NYC?
Philly? Philly is the awesome.

Feline Suicide (Don't Do It)*

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 20:29:00 +0000

Hey! I just remembered that I have a blog and that I should, like, update it and stuff!

Which I will. Eventually.

I still owe the four people who read this blog a post about my trip to London since it's been a whole month since I've been back and I will get to it soon. I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.

In the meantime, I am trying get my pictures organized and get my thoughts in order to figure out exactly how much detail I'm gonna give. And I'm too busy watching Bonnaroo online today.

I will absolutely post this week.

*No one will get the title of this post except for one certain person. I wanted to see if he is actually reading this blog because if he isn't then I'm gonna fly back to London and smack him. And not the good kind of smacking:)

Someone Make Sure To Get the Bail Money Ready

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Thu, 28 May 2009 02:10:00 +0000

I may be arrested tomorrow. I'm not sure, but- depending on who you want to believe- I may be arrested for assault.

Let me explain.

I went to a happy hour today for a coworker (in another department) who was leaving. The happy hour was from 3-5 and by the time 6:30 rolled around it was only me and three other people left. Two of them I don't know all that well, and one was a director and his bitch girlfriend from another department. We were talking but she was being an obvious bitch to me by making rude comments and just being a twat.

Finally, I had enough of her shit and I told her to just stop being an asshole. She proceeded to call me a fat slob and a bitch while her boyfriend tried to stop the confrontation by telling her to relax. I called her a cunt (repeatedly) and left. On the way home, I was so pissed off about how she spoke to me. Who the fuck did she think she was talking to me that way?

I immediately turned the car around. I went back to the restaurant the happy hour was at and parked the car right in front of the door. I kept the car running, went in, walked right up the the table, grabbed an unattended drink and threw it right in the twat's face before turning right around and walking out. I got back in my car and drove off.

It.

Was.

Awesome!

Now, I'm either going to be arrested for assault or my work will try to fire me. I will absolutely sue their ass off, of course, if they try to fire me. It was after hours and off the clock and that is exactly what the bitch twat told me right before she started to insult me.

And if the police show up to arrest me, then I'm alright with it. It was worth it. Just make sure to post my bail.

Seriously. I'm the type of girl who will be sold to Big Bertha for a pack of cigarettes. I won't last in prison.

London was awesome!

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Thu, 21 May 2009 02:31:00 +0000

And I'm still recovering.

A post explaining all the malarkey will come later.

England! Today! OMG! England! Today!

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 04:49:00 +0000

Screw you, bitches! I'm out!

I'm in London as you read this.

Suck it!

No more twat talk, I promise...

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 22:15:00 +0000

I leave for London in SEVEN days! SEVEN! One fricking week until I'm making out with an English hottie or two.

I know, kittens. You're jealous. And you should be. You really should be.

It's Spring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 15:33:00 +0000

Spring is here! Winter is gone! Bring on the mojitos, the spring beers and low cut tops!

Cleaned out the convertible today for topless driving (the car, not me).

11 more days until England! Whoo hoo!

I'm so happy I think my vagina is smiling.

I LOVE SPRING!

Why the hell am I not writing anymore?

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 23:39:00 +0000

I've been a bad barfly. No writing, no blogging, no love for my fellow blogger barflies. I've been a selfish c*nt. My bad.

I think the reason I haven't been writing at all, or have anything interesting to say, is because I fucking hate my life right now. I get up, I go to work, I FUCKING HATE work, I come home, I veg, I go to sleep, and wake up to follow the same damn thing.

I'm pretty sure I've died and this is my hell.

So why am I writing this? I don't know. Maybe because I'm hoping I'll wake up tomorrow and read this and realize what an idiot I am. Maybe that will put a fire under my twat to not be such a loser. Maybe I'm hoping someone will save me. I don't know. All I know is something needs to drastically change this month or I may just lose my mind. Which reminds me of a joke: What is red and looks like a bucket?
- A red bucket

Ha! I'm awesome.

My Vagina Weeps Every Time I See This...

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 00:46:00 +0000

I know, I know. I'm a bad blogger! You don't have to rub it in!

noreply@blogger.com (Charm City Barfly) — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 00:32:00 +0000

I realize that it's been a minute since I've posted anything and there is reason for it: I'm just lazy, bitches.

Not much has been going on as I am saving all my monies for the UK (w00t! Hot Scotsmen!). And right now I have nothing good to say as I am PMSing like a motherfunker and am filled with boiling female hormonal rage. So I better not say anything at all.

What I will give you is my best spank material of my culinary god Anthony Bourdain.

You're welcome. Don't say I never do anything for you.