Someone Make Sure To Get the Bail Money Ready
I may be arrested tomorrow. I'm not sure, but- depending on who you want to believe- I may be arrested for assault.
Let me explain.
I went to a happy hour today for a coworker (in another department) who was leaving. The happy hour was from 3-5 and by the time 6:30 rolled around it was only me and three other people left. Two of them I don't know all that well, and one was a director and his bitch girlfriend from another department. We were talking but she was being an obvious bitch to me by making rude comments and just being a twat.
Finally, I had enough of her shit and I told her to just stop being an asshole. She proceeded to call me a fat slob and a bitch while her boyfriend tried to stop the confrontation by telling her to relax. I called her a cunt (repeatedly) and left. On the way home, I was so pissed off about how she spoke to me. Who the fuck did she think she was talking to me that way?
I immediately turned the car around. I went back to the restaurant the happy hour was at and parked the car right in front of the door. I kept the car running, went in, walked right up the the table, grabbed an unattended drink and threw it right in the twat's face before turning right around and walking out. I got back in my car and drove off.
It.
Was.
Awesome!
Now, I'm either going to be arrested for assault or my work will try to fire me. I will absolutely sue their ass off, of course, if they try to fire me. It was after hours and off the clock and that is exactly what the bitch twat told me right before she started to insult me.
And if the police show up to arrest me, then I'm alright with it. It was worth it. Just make sure to post my bail.
Seriously. I'm the type of girl who will be sold to Big Bertha for a pack of cigarettes. I won't last in prison.
